weiGh nOt wAnt noT

okay so no one likes a complainer or wants to be a complainer, at least that is the general consensus that i believe most of us have agreed upon... however why is it that i am one. i never used to be... actually i was rather confident, assure of myself and didn't think there was anything i could not accomplish. this has changed however in the last few years for me and i would consider myself somewhat of a "wallflower" and sadly a wee bit "complain'ish". maybe it is the realization that i am fragile, i am not able to get away with little to no sleep and still move at super human speeds, accomplish all i need to in one day - okay who am i kidding - one hour is what i meant to say, and keep a lean physique while eating whatever i like and doing no exercise... i am human. but why did i only come to this realization now. this realization does of course correspond frighteningly with the wallflower/complaining personality i have managed to pick up along that way, i do not recall consciously picking this "hitch hiker" up at any point, perhaps her thumb was small and dainty and i thought it was pretty and became sidetracked by her glittery nail polish, i did not look deeper i suppose. but i wish to rid myself of this "hitch hiker", she is bringing me down. so i apologize to those i have become "complainy" with, it really is not who i am, or used to be, or want to be. so i have a plan and i will keep you posted on how i plan to find me, again.